It’s been seven months since I took a sabbatical from writing, creating videos, and posting on social media. The silence was absolutely delightful. Truth is, I wanted to let it all go, but somehow I found myself afraid of losing what I had worked hard to build.
But that, my friend, was the problem. The thing I arduously worked for, was the one thing holding me back. I was building upon the sand, building upon what I thought I needed to do, and building for the sake of being busy for the kingdom. While I did it wholeheartedly and for the love of “helping” others, it was not effective in producing good fruit.
Joseph M. Stowell says it so beautifully,
“We deceive ourselves when we assume that being busy ‘doing’ for Christ is sufficient to please Him.”
Worst yet, I fell into the trap of sharing words, words blown by the wind that seemed to land on dead soil. For what worth do words have when His Word is the most powerful and effective to transform lives? What more is there to say that hasn’t been said? There are too many voices overpowering the atmosphere. And quite frankly, I don’t want to contribute to the static noise in the world.
Yet saying, “I quit” sounds so bad doesn’t it? Somehow, I bought into the idea that quitting is for wimps and the faint of heart. I mean, I’m a woman of faith. I’m supposed to persevere in the storm. Jesus followers don’t quit. At least, that’s what I believed.
Until the Lord said, “Permission to quit is granted.”
Permission? It never occurred to me to ask Him what He wanted. Somehow I assumed that continuing with the ministry was what I had to do. I mean, my friends would tell me not to quit. They told me I was making a “difference” in people’s lives. They told me I was a “blessing.” Time off gave me the space to challenge negative beliefs I had about my ministry. Those needed to be uprooted and replaced with His lively vision of who I am – today – and who I am becoming. And so, when Papa said to quit, I quit.
- I quit working hard.
- I quit seeking what I thought was best.
- I quit caring about what others think.
- I quit wanting to save the world (Yes, I’m an idealist).
- I quit “helping” people.
- I quit worrying about the success of the ministry.
By quitting, I learned to:
- Rest in Him.
- Seek what the Holy Spirit wants for me.
- Care more about how Papa sees me and says about me.
- Allow Him to save the world and I just enjoy the ride.
- Let people be (with all their pain and imperfections) and come along their side and show them the way to Christ.
- Hold His hand, embrace the unknown, and enjoy the journey.
In letting go, I discovered that quitting is not a sign of weakness, but obedience.
For Papa’s definition of quitting is unlike today’s most common use, which is to “leave, resign, and withdraw.” The root word in Latin for quit (quies) is to be silent, quiet, to be at rest, and free. Jesus invites us to enter into a sacred space of rest.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
There is no need to strive when we are free in Christ.
Busyness does not equate to effectiveness and rest is not equivalent to stagnation. By rest we come to know who God is and trust that He will work in and through us to accomplish His will. When we are at rest under His wings, we actively pursue the matters of His heart. And his heart always leads to abundant fruit.
And so, there are no goals and agendas for the ministry. I don’t have specific plans and aspirations. I’m unsure of what the blog will look like. I desire the Spirit to lead my every step. And because I don’t want to scatter words for the sake of just sharing, I will post as I feel led by the Holy Spirit. My prayer is to share only what I believe will have a positive impact on your life.
And remember, you have got a fire within. Fan the flame, shine bright, and live fearlessly. For God did not give you a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:6-7
Fan the flame! ~ 🔥